Written by Theo ten Brummelaar & Trevor Daly © Pineapple Doughnut 2024
Musicians:
Theo ten Brummelaar: Vocals, Guitars, Keyboards & Drums.
Sallie Cruise: Vocals.
Trevor Daly: Bass.
Martin Kirby: English person.
Boyd Lewis: American person.
Sallie Cruise: Vocals.
Trevor Daly: Bass.
Martin Kirby: English person.
Boyd Lewis: American person.
Lyrics:
Here's the place you want to be,
You'll find success so easily,
And all you need is one small card.
Money here is coloured green.
There's wealth and power so obscene,
It's hard to stop things once they start.
Begin your stay on H or J
The wife can't work here anyway.
Start your crawl towards the top.
File your pictures with your papers,
Best start now don't wait till later.
And by the way you'll spend a lot.
Have you ever knowingly commited any crime of moral turpitude
or a drug related offense for which you have not been arrested?
Have you ever exercised diplomatic immunity to avoid prosecution
for an offense in the United States of America?
Next you file your I140,
Tell the Feds you ain't been naughty,
And start a paper trail a few feet high.
Sit back and hope they'll find you're smart,
Smart enough to play the part
Of someone with the skills they can't deny.
Have you ever been a prostitute or procurred a prostitute
or intend to engage in such activities in the future?
Have you ever engaged in sabotage, kidnapping, assasination,
hijacking or any terrorist activity?
Life will be fine with a green card, a green card.
It's like doing time waiting for a green card, a green card.
We're waiting in line early and cold and it seems hard.
Too late at 9 for a green card, a green card.
Actually, I do believe it is pink.
Now the I485,
All new shit the same old jive.
File your forms without delay.
See the Doctor, she's set up
To test and see if you're fucked up.
She'll charge a bundle on the way.
Do you intend to engage in any activity the purpose of which
is to over throw the government of the United States of America?
Did you, as part of the Nazi government of Germany, ever incite
or assist in the persecution of any person due to race or religion?
Life will be fine when we've got a green card, a green card.
It's like doing time waiting for your green card, your green card.
We're standing in line early and cold and it seems hard.
Too late at 9 for your green card, your green card.
I'm quite sure it's pink!
Now you wait until the time
They send you back into the line.
It could be weeks it could be years.
Then you do the interview,
same dumb questions nothing new,
Cheap red stamp - you're in the clear.
Have you ever engaged in genocide or assisted in the killing
of any person because of race, religion or politics?
Have you ever practiced, or do you plan to practice
polygamy in the United States of America?
Well mine is pink!
You'll find success so easily,
And all you need is one small card.
Money here is coloured green.
There's wealth and power so obscene,
It's hard to stop things once they start.
Begin your stay on H or J
The wife can't work here anyway.
Start your crawl towards the top.
File your pictures with your papers,
Best start now don't wait till later.
And by the way you'll spend a lot.
Have you ever knowingly commited any crime of moral turpitude
or a drug related offense for which you have not been arrested?
Have you ever exercised diplomatic immunity to avoid prosecution
for an offense in the United States of America?
Next you file your I140,
Tell the Feds you ain't been naughty,
And start a paper trail a few feet high.
Sit back and hope they'll find you're smart,
Smart enough to play the part
Of someone with the skills they can't deny.
Have you ever been a prostitute or procurred a prostitute
or intend to engage in such activities in the future?
Have you ever engaged in sabotage, kidnapping, assasination,
hijacking or any terrorist activity?
Life will be fine with a green card, a green card.
It's like doing time waiting for a green card, a green card.
We're waiting in line early and cold and it seems hard.
Too late at 9 for a green card, a green card.
Actually, I do believe it is pink.
Now the I485,
All new shit the same old jive.
File your forms without delay.
See the Doctor, she's set up
To test and see if you're fucked up.
She'll charge a bundle on the way.
Do you intend to engage in any activity the purpose of which
is to over throw the government of the United States of America?
Did you, as part of the Nazi government of Germany, ever incite
or assist in the persecution of any person due to race or religion?
Life will be fine when we've got a green card, a green card.
It's like doing time waiting for your green card, your green card.
We're standing in line early and cold and it seems hard.
Too late at 9 for your green card, your green card.
I'm quite sure it's pink!
Now you wait until the time
They send you back into the line.
It could be weeks it could be years.
Then you do the interview,
same dumb questions nothing new,
Cheap red stamp - you're in the clear.
Have you ever engaged in genocide or assisted in the killing
of any person because of race, religion or politics?
Have you ever practiced, or do you plan to practice
polygamy in the United States of America?
Well mine is pink!
Technical Notes:
Based on a guitar riff written in 2003ish, this was written at the time Sallie and Theo were trying to get their green cards (permanent residency) in the good old USA. All true, including the somewhat paraphrased government questions. Recorded on a similar setup as Continue with the Windows Cakewalk DAW, the homemade wood/rubber/glue electronic drum kit, and a nameless guitar picked up second hand for about $100 played through a Sans Amp pedal. Once again the MIDI track of the drums was used as played but with modern EZ-Drummer samples, and the bass (again a guitar played through a Boss Octave pedal) was replaced by Trevor using his Fender Jazz with an amplifier simulator inside Logic Studio. We also added a simple keyboard part using a suitably vintage sound on an Alesis NanoPiano.