Written by Theo ten Brummelaar & Trevor Daly © Pineapple Doughnut 2024
Musicians:
Kaspar von Braun: Vocals, & Acoustic/Electric Guitars.
Joan ten Brummelaar: Vocals.
Theo ten Brummelaar (Jr): Vocals, Keyboards, MIDI programming & Drums.
Theo ten Brummelaar (Sr): Vocals.
Michele Conyngham: Vocals.
Kendal Cuneo: Trumpets
Trevor Daly: Vocals & Bass
Sallie Cruise: Vocals.
Danielle Dalvi: Vocals.
Patrick Trumper: Vocals.
Sophia Hughes: Vocals.
Joan ten Brummelaar: Vocals.
Theo ten Brummelaar (Jr): Vocals, Keyboards, MIDI programming & Drums.
Theo ten Brummelaar (Sr): Vocals.
Michele Conyngham: Vocals.
Kendal Cuneo: Trumpets
Trevor Daly: Vocals & Bass
Sallie Cruise: Vocals.
Danielle Dalvi: Vocals.
Patrick Trumper: Vocals.
Sophia Hughes: Vocals.
Lyrics:
Oh evolution gave up on me many years ago.
We're not built to live past forty,
but my birthdays only grow.
Mr. Dawkins says my selfish genes treat me like a buffet,
And I'm just transportation for Crick's helical DNA.
While modern medicine has made much of that stuff moot,
Nature doesn't give a rats, there's no golden parachute.
Oh intelligent design my bum!
But I'm learning how to take things as they come.
While it's nice to have some money,
and some time in which to think.
My body isn't up to much, it could drive a man to drink.
My bumhole is a clamp. My underpants are damp.
Intelligent design my bum!
Bum! Bum! Bum! Bum! Bum! Bum! Bum! Bum! Bum!
I lost the knack of eating without swallowing some air.
Random bits of my anatomy are growing clumps of hair.
A hose with the tap up the back seems a bad design to me.
To avoid the random accidents, I now sit down to pee.
I no longer find amusement from the pain in my flat feet.
I must confess I find all this is somewhat bittersweet.
Intelligent design my bum! (Whose Bum?)
Monkeys and apes are our alum (Hairy Bum!)
Young people can be very cute and also quite inane.
But you're not allowed to tell them,
it could drive a man insane.
While I have an aid-de-camp. My underwear's still damp.
Intelligent design my bum! (Your Bum!)
Bum! Bum! Bum! Bum! Bum! Bum! Bum! Bum! Bum!
Many people seem to think there must have been a plan,
By something disincarnate and more complex than a man.
But positing a creator just leaves me on a limb.
The idea makes me wonder just what ever did make him.
It's like standing at the bottom of a cliff you cannot climb,
Instead of strolling up the other side though it may take you more time.
Intelligent design my bum! (My Bum!)
Don’t thank God, just be nice to your Mum. (Love ya Mum!)
The things I know about women I have learned throughout the years
Are useless to me now, it could drive a man to tears.
No one ever calls me champ. My underpants are damp.
Of Intelligent design, there isn't any sign!
Oh Intelligent design my bum! (Our Bum!)
We're not built to live past forty,
but my birthdays only grow.
Mr. Dawkins says my selfish genes treat me like a buffet,
And I'm just transportation for Crick's helical DNA.
While modern medicine has made much of that stuff moot,
Nature doesn't give a rats, there's no golden parachute.
Oh intelligent design my bum!
But I'm learning how to take things as they come.
While it's nice to have some money,
and some time in which to think.
My body isn't up to much, it could drive a man to drink.
My bumhole is a clamp. My underpants are damp.
Intelligent design my bum!
Bum! Bum! Bum! Bum! Bum! Bum! Bum! Bum! Bum!
I lost the knack of eating without swallowing some air.
Random bits of my anatomy are growing clumps of hair.
A hose with the tap up the back seems a bad design to me.
To avoid the random accidents, I now sit down to pee.
I no longer find amusement from the pain in my flat feet.
I must confess I find all this is somewhat bittersweet.
Intelligent design my bum! (Whose Bum?)
Monkeys and apes are our alum (Hairy Bum!)
Young people can be very cute and also quite inane.
But you're not allowed to tell them,
it could drive a man insane.
While I have an aid-de-camp. My underwear's still damp.
Intelligent design my bum! (Your Bum!)
Bum! Bum! Bum! Bum! Bum! Bum! Bum! Bum! Bum!
Many people seem to think there must have been a plan,
By something disincarnate and more complex than a man.
But positing a creator just leaves me on a limb.
The idea makes me wonder just what ever did make him.
It's like standing at the bottom of a cliff you cannot climb,
Instead of strolling up the other side though it may take you more time.
Intelligent design my bum! (My Bum!)
Don’t thank God, just be nice to your Mum. (Love ya Mum!)
The things I know about women I have learned throughout the years
Are useless to me now, it could drive a man to tears.
No one ever calls me champ. My underpants are damp.
Of Intelligent design, there isn't any sign!
Oh Intelligent design my bum! (Our Bum!)
Technical Notes:
This is a blatant attempt to write a song that Eric Idle and Monty Python would be proud of. It's half intellectual and half one long extended fart joke, which is why it's at the end of the album. Towards the end of 2022 the idea started to come together but much time was spent getting the words to fit and wondering if it needed a middle-8. You can probably tell that it's impossible, at least for us, to sing all the words during the verse without running out of air so the verses were recorded one line at a time. We tried to get as many people to help out with the chorus as we could which also took some time. The brass section was originally all MIDI but it sounded robotic so Kendal came to our rescue and played all four trumpet parts in less than an hour. The tuba is still a sample but at least it sounds like a real instrument, which the trumpet samples definitely did not. All done with the AKG-C414 except for Kaspar's parts that he recorded in his LA home with an Earthworks SR30. The "bum bum bum" bits were an afterthought during recording and we initially worried that maybe we were going too far with the bum jokes. But as they amused us, and in the spirit of Monty Python who always went too far, we left them in for your enjoyment!